Fellow Sisterlocker Pnk-e caused quite a response when she made the post on LockItUp that she has been locked for 2 years and is still extremely dissatisfied with her hair. The responses came pouring in one after another with suggestions that included: Trying new products
Finding a new salon
Retightening/Styling her own hair
Cutting her locks off
Starting a Blog
I just want to know where does such extreme dissatisfaction come from? I guess an individual would have to answer this question for him or herself. But I have some theories one should consider before, during and after locking to help alleviate some of the dissatisfaction.
Mental Preparation – The decision to go natural or wear locks has to be a decision you are making for yourself. At the end of the day and you look in the mirror, you have to be happy with you. Usually the number one force of outside negativity comes from family and friends. Once you’ve got your mental armour all set to deal with them, putting Joe Blow and Suzy Q from the street in their place becomes a piece of cake. Sometimes family and friends come around and be supportive and sometimes they don’t. But if you don’t have the inner strength to deal with criticism and negativity from the decision to lock…then you probably shouldn’t lock.
Realistic Expectations – Locks are not a zero, hassle and maintenance free hairstyle. This realization alone is half the battle when it comes to locking. In fact, they take a hell of a lot of patience and for some, more work than the perm. You have to weigh the pros and cons of locks in comparison to other hairstyles. You have to know what it is you intend to get out of locking and how that relates to your hair texture and density.
Research, Research, Research – Talk to other lockers, look over websites and blogs, read books and magazines, join a chat group.
Flexibility and Patience – Unless you take the sew in route, beautiful locks don’t happen overnight. It’s a long journey with some good days and some bad days. If the above three items have been done, the good days should outnumber the bad days. The benefits should ALWAYS outweigh the bullshit. Otherwise, why bother?
Finding a new salon
Retightening/Styling her own hair
Cutting her locks off
Starting a Blog
I just want to know where does such extreme dissatisfaction come from? I guess an individual would have to answer this question for him or herself. But I have some theories one should consider before, during and after locking to help alleviate some of the dissatisfaction.
Mental Preparation – The decision to go natural or wear locks has to be a decision you are making for yourself. At the end of the day and you look in the mirror, you have to be happy with you. Usually the number one force of outside negativity comes from family and friends. Once you’ve got your mental armour all set to deal with them, putting Joe Blow and Suzy Q from the street in their place becomes a piece of cake. Sometimes family and friends come around and be supportive and sometimes they don’t. But if you don’t have the inner strength to deal with criticism and negativity from the decision to lock…then you probably shouldn’t lock.
Realistic Expectations – Locks are not a zero, hassle and maintenance free hairstyle. This realization alone is half the battle when it comes to locking. In fact, they take a hell of a lot of patience and for some, more work than the perm. You have to weigh the pros and cons of locks in comparison to other hairstyles. You have to know what it is you intend to get out of locking and how that relates to your hair texture and density.
Research, Research, Research – Talk to other lockers, look over websites and blogs, read books and magazines, join a chat group.
Flexibility and Patience – Unless you take the sew in route, beautiful locks don’t happen overnight. It’s a long journey with some good days and some bad days. If the above three items have been done, the good days should outnumber the bad days. The benefits should ALWAYS outweigh the bullshit. Otherwise, why bother?
9 comments:
I totally agree with you. I research for months before making my decision. It is a mental preparation that is imperative to the journey. After locking, there is still that phase you go through of accepting the natural texture. I only can speak for me. I love my locks. I had my days in the beginning when my locs weren't looking like I wanted, but 2years later, it was definitely worth the wait. I don't get it. I have to go visit Lock-It-Up. (It has been awhile).
Preach, lady! Preach! I couldn't have said it better. Let the church say, "Amen!"
Ok..Tanya, I am feeling this post big time! I CAN NOT relate to those who have CHRONIC complaints about their hair, I made the decision to go natural,then loc from WITHIN so I dont understand the strong comments about one hating (such a strong word) their hair. I too have days when my hair isnt to my "perfectionist liking" however those days are necessary to "keep me up on my game" LOL..its a part of life to me, there will be good days and bad days, but in the end, it all balances out!
Thanks Ladies. For a minute, I thought something was wrong with me. Well..maybe there is, but that's another post.
Ree-C girl, sometime I have to stay away from Lockitup before I'm drowning in a sea of hair depression.
TRA - what a good point.
Detra - glad to know we are on the same page.
Leighann - I saw you were in OH this past weekend. I didn't even know where that was at. I looked it up and saw that it was 3 hrs away from Cleveland. But I'm still looking forward to meeting you in June for the Color Purple trip.
Well said. Your photo is nice.
Oh I forgot. Please email me so that I can shoot you over a picture of my hair during the early phases. The length and look is very close to yours except that mine is thinner of course. I have been meaning to put the before and after pics on my blog but haven't had time to scrounge them up.
sisterinlocks@comcast.net
EXCELLENT POST!!!!
I LOVE THIS POST! Most excellent, Most Excellent INDEED! Thanks for sharing your point of view. It is still helping us sisters in 2007 who are coming along after YOU! Thanks for paving such an excellent path!
Sis. RJQueen10
Sis RJ - It's refreshing to know such a post can be beneficial.
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